I haven't updated this thing in more than 9 months... I decided i needed a xanga and was using that, but I think I'm gonna start using this to vent and talk about stuff I dont actually feel comfortable talking about on the xanga.

Since my last post, I have switched schools (now at San Jac), been all over the east coast for summer vacation... and stayed broken up with my GF... we were together for the better part of 3 years. I am crushed over that and it eats at me everyday... but there is nothing I can do about it.

My spirtual life is about nill... I screw up so much it is frustrating...I feel consumed by my lust, and i feel so powerless. I have hurt the ones I love the most with this, but i feel so powerless to do anything about it.

That's it for now...

Romans 7:21

^"I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good."

I tend to have alot of chances to experience this verse first hand... and it is usually not a good thing. but like Paul, i pray i can overcome this. This, being my addiction to lust, porn, and the like.

'Who I am hates who I've been!'

good song, good song by reliant K.

I'm curious as to if anybody reads this. If so, would ya kindly leave a quick message and possibly comment ocasiojnaly. THANKS. Goodnight!

Fasting

I just finished my quiet time with my awesome Lord. for my quiing et time I am using a book titles "A Prayer Journey With the Apostle Paul". It focuses in on Paul's Journey from praying as a 'See me, hear me' Pharisee to having an awesome, deep prayer based relationship with my God. Today the verses were Acts 13:1-3. This is Paul's appointment by God to spread the word. At the end, the author made an awesome point. It is as follows:

"It was when they fasted that God led them as a group to this new venture which would bring the gospel of Jesus out of the jewish ghetto and into the gentile world. God made it plain to them that they should release their two most gifted leaders to do overseas. What a contrast this is to the modern church. How poverty-stricken our fellowship, how weak our prayer and fasting! As a result, how uncertain we are of the guidance of God, and how slow to take up imaginative initiatives."

Just a bit of something for people to think about till I update again.

Jehovah-Rapha

Jehovah-Rapha - "The Lord who Heals"

I found a website last night witht he names of God on it. That is the one which really stuck out to me. I am in dire need of healing, spirtually, physically, emotionly. I pray tonight that the Lord will keep me on track to having a strong relationship with him through prayer, and my attempts at a daily quiet time.

'Please take from me my life
Please take form me my life
when I don't have the strength
to give it away to you, Jesus'

A card and a present from my Grandpa to Grandma. I thought it was really sweet. 

Me at Christmas 

My First Entry...

Since this is my first entry, I'm gonna fill anyone who is gonna be reading this in on a little bit about me. I'm an 18 year old soon to be 19 year old college freshman at Texas A&M. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, I felt it would be best for both of us.

I have an extremely rocky spirtual life. My prayer life is almost nill and my ministry is lacking. I could really use all the prayer anyone reading this is willing to dish out for me.

This is all for now, ill update in the morning...